Conundrum...

So everything for France is basically set. I have my plane tickets, my Eurail pass, and some luggage. All I need to do now is wait for my arrete to come in the mail from my school to see exactly what town and what school at which I will teach. Hopefully I will be in a larger town or city and not some rinky-dink little French hamlet of population 50. Granted if I am in a small town I can practice my French every time I leave my apartment.

One thing that has crossed my mind in the past few weeks is what exactly am I going to do about my boyfriend, Dean. There are two opposing forces at work in my brain right now, each characterized by the side of brain that forms logic and that of emotion. They are:

LOGIC: I am going to France at the end of September for seven months. After that, I may go to graduate school, maybe law school in the states, maybe in Europe. Don't really know, going to play it by ear. He will recieve his MBA in May and then wants to go back to work at an accounting firm back home in San Fransisco. I have never been to San Fransisco, so I have no opinion of the city in terms of living there. And then once I think about that the little Gloria Steinem in my head says, "Sarah, moving your life for a man is sooooo passee!" and I have to agree. Because of the lack of knowledge about my life after May and the lack of geographical proximity to each other, it won't work out and we must break up before I leave for France.

EMOTION: I am going to France at the end of September for seven months. He will be in Chicago when I am supposed to return. San Fransisco is supposed to have nice weather. On top of which, he is supposed to come and visit me in France while I'm there! The other day, in fact, we talked about him coming to visit and he, out of the blue, said, "What would you do if I don't leave once I get there?" I was of course flabbergasted and said something about leaving his great opportunities, but my heart practically jumped out of my chest!

Of course, it's only June and I leave in September. While I realize the summer is going to absolutely fly by, we will have this talk before I leave. I hope I can get it sorted out to everyone's liking. I don't know if I want to have a boyfriend while in France, but then again I don't know if I want to give him up. I can only hope that something will happen either way in the near future that will help in deciding. If something horrible happens and we break up in a fit of rage at each other, then my problem is solved! Unfortunately, I'm not one to start fits of rage, so I'm sequestering myself to a summer of anticipation and slight dread. Alas.

In other news, my job is going swimmingly! I'm working at my dad's dealership this summer as customer service in his service department. At first I absolutely dreaded the thought of returning to working for my father as well as working in a car dealership. However, it has turned out to be much, much better than I expected. The people I work with are absolutely fabulous and there is almost never a dull moment either with them or the customers. Apparently a major demographic of Saturn customers is that they are craaazy. Or at least the ones I speak with. Also, I'm making bank compared with the rest of my friends who are working. This is mainly because I have no expenses aside from my credit card, but whatever. I also figured out that no one else can actually guarantee me more than what I'm making now and since my main goal this summer is to save money for France and Central America, it's stupid to leave a job for a lesser paying job. So all in all, my money-making summer is going quite well! Who-hoo!!

Went to the gym three times this past week. Working on losing weight and pants sizes so I can a)not die of exhaustion while hiking in the jungle and b)have a chance of fitting into french clothes. No lie.